Are we too selfish?

"Singles are selfish."
"The Selfish Generation!"
"No kids..? You must be selfish."

Today`s majority youth believes, when faced with the choice of helping others at our own expense, individuals would act selfishly to serve their self-interest.

What if everyone thought this way?

I decided to pose the question to those who says that unselfish acts are the key to a good relationship.
And good news for the faint of heart I found out is,

"Listening is the most unselfish act that you can do in any relationship."

It's important for both people to get their needs met. Men need to help around the house more by doing some of the domestics, and women need to give back to men - perhaps by doing some of things the things men like, in the bedroom ..."

One colleague confides to me that his girlfriend's selfish acts are what is eating away at their relationship.

"She goes out some nights with her friends and doesn't bother to call and tell me where she is. You've got to let the other person know you're safe, otherwise they'll worry about you, and it's a very selfish thing to do - to only think of yourself and make someone worried sick over you."

When I point out that his girlfriend often cooks him his favourite dinner (unselfishly), he tells me this: "If someone is always cooking you dinner and you're doing nothing back for them, then absolutely that's pretty selfish too. I do think it's important to be proactive in a relationship... it's just that I yet learnt to cook."

But as once said, "One of the key things for people as far as joy is concerned is not living a selfish, self-centered lifestyle where we live our lives expecting everybody else to do something for us ... "


It takes four seasons to know one long year.
Always have a positive attitude in life. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day.

Give your relationship the time it needs, the space it requires & the care it is craving for.
Don`t b so selfish MAN ! !

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Love yourself.. Love your life.. No matter what..!!

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."


Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.



"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

Yeh life hai yaar. . Take it Lightly. . ! !

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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

Unlike the movies, love doesn’t necessarily just fall into your lap. Dating or trying to date, is a complicated process that can be filled with second-guessing, presumptions and over-thinking.

Here are ten ways to make yourself more open to love. And if it doesn’t work, at least you’ll feel better about yourself. And when the next potential lover comes along, you will be ready!


1: Love yourself
Ahh, get your mind out of the gutter - I’m talking about having respect for yourself. While I know I am running the risk of sounding like a grandma, begin by covering yourself up. You may think your crush wants to see your boobs (and I’m sure he does) but that’s not going to bring you love. If you don’t have respect for yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to. Looking truly sexy is a subtle business, and when it works, it really works.

2: Keep it real
Playing hard to get is all very well, but if it’s love you want, you may want to grow up a little. Keeping it real is a much better method to finding a steady and true connection with someone. Leave the games to scrabble sessions and try to engage in some real conversations instead. Don’t worry about the three-day rule, or any rules. Show him you care by calling him if you want to. Don’t over-do it, but don’t muck him around either.

3: Have a life
One of the best things about being in love is always having someone to talk to. If you have a full and interesting life, it makes sense that you will have more intriguing conversations. And let’s face it - the physical aspect of love only takes you so far. If the two of you can pass the hours deep in conversation without even realising it, then you have potential for a real relationship. So get out there and do things.

4: Set goals
Have you ever noticed how people who know where they’re going in life are always far more interesting than those who seem confused and undecided? I’m not saying you should know exactly what the next five years will bring, but having a goal for the coming year, at least, will make it easier for the object of your affections to respect you.

5: Look after your physical wellbeing
Aside from giving you a hot body, getting some exercise releases endorphins, which in turn provides you with a happy radiance that other people will notice. And perhaps more importantly, you will notice it too. The same goes with eating well. Your skin will be better and you will feel more energetic. It’s all good stuff!

6: Look after your mental wellbeing
Ever sat down to dinner with a person who has just had a hard day? They can’t help but release their tensions by moaning and sighing. Instead of putting all your bothers onto others, why not make sure to take some relaxation time for yourself? Some options are to go to a yoga class, read a book or take a walk.

7: Be positive
Similarly, conversing with a negative person is draining. Try to cut gossip out of your life, or at least keep it for that special friend (we all have a gossip friend!). Talking others down doesn’t make you look any better; it just makes you seem insecure. Try to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones and you may feel better about yourself too.

8: Listen
If you want someone to love you, you need to make sure you love them too. So, listen when they speak. Think about what they are saying and respond. Sounds simple, but when we’re trying to impress it’s easy to forget this basic social skill. Relax - whatever you desperately want them to know will come out in time. Instead, take the time to learn about them.

9: Trust your instincts
This goes back to number two - don’t play games! Teach yourself to have the confidence to act upon your notions. If you think it’s going well and you feel like kissing him - kiss him. Confidence is sexy. It’s also time-saving, as you don’t have to waste precious moments wondering about what each other are thinking. Don’t kid yourself, you know what they’re thinking. Or at least there is a good chance you do. Take that chance!

10: Be yourself
I know what you're wondering 'What do you mean be myself? I don’t have the confidence to trust my instincts, I don’t have goals and I have a boring life!' Well, all of the above tips are about being a new, relaxed you. These are not ways to act, but ways to be. And if you want someone to love you, you will need to make sure you are truly being real. That doesn’t mean you should fart or admit your foot fetish on the first date, but don’t giggle like a schoolgirl either. It’s you who’s going to be there when this relationship continues into the years, so keep it real and you will thank yourself for it later.

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long distance relationship (LDR)

As you’re all probably aware, In a long distance relationship (LDR). It’s at about this point when I hear a rousing chorus of “WHY?!” from those who are reading. Well, it’s something I’ve been asking myself and something everyone who is apart from their significant other should ask themselves. But let’s backtrack to how it all begun. It can be summed up in one word. Cliché. Need I say more? It just clicked. Anyway things happened quickly, you tend to speed things up when you’re dealing with a lack of time. One minute we were saying that it was just a fling and we should say goodbye, next moment we were checking out the best calling plan because we’d decided we wanted to see what would happen. Basically, we didn’t want it to end. But we knew we’d have to do the distance thing. We didn’t plan anything, we just figured it out as we went along. For those who have been in this situation, you know what I mean when I say it’s hard. It’s really hard. Sometime the phone just doesn’t connect it, some days all you want is a hug from your boy and you can’t have it. They say that communication is the basis of any good relationship, well in a LDR it is a necessity. Without that, you have nothing. You need to be honest and open, and for someone like me who isn’t great at expressing herself it’s been a challenge. If anyone had any trust issues when they started this, they all had to go. Of course you have to feel strongly about the person you’re doing this with but without trust then you shouldn’t bother. You will never know who they’re out with or what they’re doing, even for the most self-assured girl it would be tough. Trust and honesty, both necessary, but two of the hardest things to have. Strangely enough, the hardest thing for me to have to deal with has been the reaction from other people. I’m sure they don’t mean to be anything less than supportive but when you’re constantly being told that it’ll be hard and that it’ll never last, it makes everything a little more difficult. I already know that it’s hard, it’s one that’s involved but it’s not something one have gone into lightly. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to this and everyone thinks their answer is the right one. What I’ve discovered is that we have had to figure out what’s right for us, without listening to everybody else’s doubt. For me, what it comes down to is that I’ve met someone who can deal with my interesting ways. He just happens to live in some other place. All relationships have issues that need to be dealt to and this is ours. We make do with the phone and email, our phone bills are huge but the way I see it is, if he were here we’d be going out a lot so we’re probably saving money. We talk so often that we probably know each other better than a lot of other couples who have been together for the same amount of time. The best thing is that he’s coming back. It was important for me to know that there was more to his decision than just us, I can’t be the only reason for him turning his life upside down. He’s already got a great group of friends here, he’s got family and he’s just got a job so when he does get back, things can be normal. I never thought I’d want a normal, everyday relationship and that’s the beauty of distance. You can find out what you both want, you’ve got time to get to know each other without all the other crap that comes with the beginning part of a relationship. The distance has made me appreciate what we have so when he does come, I know I won’t take it for granted

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True Sharing

A crow found a piece of meat. The moment it picked up the meat, the other crows and eagles began chasing it. The crow soared higher and higher to safeguard the meat. The others chased it relentlessly. Then, suddenly, the crow dropped the meat; the crows and eagles left the chase, and dived towards the meat that had fallen to the ground.

Now that the crow was free from its pursuers, it realised a great truth. "I lost the meat, but then, I have gained great freedom!" Similarly, if we drop our ego, our life will get released from tension. Just as the crow could fly at will in the vast sky, we too can soar in the beauty of life!

Vedas have four sections — Moksha Shastra, Artha Shastra, Kama Shastra and Dharma Shastra. The Moksha Shastra says: "Only when we drop our ego, do we realise the bliss that is within us!" The Artha Shastra advocates: "Earn money out of love; not out of greed".

Greed can never satisfy us. The Kama Shastra advocates: "Convert sex into prayer". The Dharma Shastra says: "Let goodness, not ambition, be the foundation of life". Out of goodness, let ambition arise.

Our parents, siblings, spouse and children deserve our love and care. But while we do not share everything with them, we confide freely with a few friends. Over a period of time, a feeling of intimacy develops.

To help intimacy grow in your marital relationship; treat your spouse as your friend. Let there be transparency in your words and deeds. Some declare with pride, "I do not discuss office matters at home!" The reason given by couples is, "If I share office matters with my spouse, it might not be understood. It might lead to confusion and worry". This may be true to some extent.

But it is not so difficult to overcome this simple hurdle, it is to prevent a wall rising between the two of you.

When you share your troubles, dreams or worries... what will a good friend do? He would just listen, letting you unburden yourself. He would create an atmosphere for meaningful sharing. Mother Teresa would say: "Don't spend your time in judging others; then you will not have time to love them!"

It is absolutely essential that such an intimacy exists between husband and wife. It is worth looking at an advice provided in Christianity to nourish the intimacy between husband, wife and children. "The family that prays together stays together!"

In married life, you have to compromise on certain issues which you may not really like or enjoy. One should learn to accommodate the other's likes and dislikes. Intimacy is bound to develop in the environment of such readiness to accommodate.

You receive as much as you give. One is more blessed in giving than in receiving. One should develop an attitude of giving in to the taste and interest of the spouse on less important issues.

You have to learn to like what you dislike too and even dislike what you like; so that you are above likes and dislikes. Then you will have likes and dislikes, instead of likes and dislikes having you! This is true mastery. Be a master of likes and dislikes.

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Confused . . ? ?

I dont know what is my present state of mind.. What I want & What I dont? ?
I cant be able to concentrate on anything not in my job.. in my studies.. in my relationship.. in my family.. & in my friends.
I cant stand this even. Its killing me now. Sometimes I feel so restless & start crying loudly lyk hell.
I feel so left out and all alone standing in some isolated space wondering the life`s decision which we have to accept no matter what.
I know I sound so depressing & i should just give all my worries to my God "Lord Krishna" and start meditating to avoid this negative feeling but I just simply dont know how to do it..??
Lots of thgs goes unquestioned
Lots of thgs goes unanswered
& I have no control over anything.

Why this life sucks to the most when needed the most?

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More Than Looks

Sit for a minute or two and try and think about the things that interest you and things that you would find interesting in a person.

By ‘things’ over here I am not referring to physical attributes. I am not referring to something that might interest you in a person’s physical appearance. Again the distinction has to be drawn between a serious relationship and a casual relationship. In a casual relationship, you are usually more concerned with what the person looks like.

On the other hand, if you have a serious relationship, then the physical qualities are not so important. Compatibility is probably the most important factor over here. Along with that there are certain other qualities that obviously you will be looking out for. After all, beauty is only skin deep!

This idea might sound strange, but it is actually true. The idea is that it is possible to grow to like the looks of a person. Once you find the character of the person agreeable you will start liking the person as a whole. It is entirely possible to fall in love with a person if the person does not look like a movie star. That is one of the tricks that nature plays.

There are many people who insist on taking a look at the other person’s picture before actually committing to a relationship. They might have their reasons of course, but I, for one, feel that such a decision based largely on looks is more suitable for a casual relationship. It is bound to fizzle out after a while. After all, how long can you keep staring at a person? And what happens if the person doesn’t stare back at you?

Or even worse, what happens if you find the person staring at another person? Looks may be important, but they certainly are not the most important thing and should never be used as the deciding factor if you are thinking about a serious relationship.

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A Casual Relationship or Something More?

Everybody knows that humans are social creatures, but we are also lonely creatures. We all enjoy company.

Company not just from friends and family, but from that special person that we can share sweet nothings and simple pleasures and pains, someone who we can build a whole new life with, someone who we can raise a family of our own with. A basic need of every person is to find a life mate. And the most popular method used for this is dating.

When we talk about dating, know that we aren't talking about just a step towards sleeping together. Dating is much more than that. It is the first step towards choosing a life partner and online dating has made the whole process a lot simpler.

Now what you do and what you want is entirely your business. I don’t want to sound like I am getting in your business but I would like to point out the differences between the kind of dating that is involved if you are looking for a casual relationship or if you are looking for a more serious relationship..

Obviously in a casual relationship you are looking for fun. And mind you, fun can mean many different things. Here the person you would look for is obviously someone who doesn't want a serious relationship.

If both of you are on the same page then it is all good because you understand each other perfectly and don't expect much from such a relationship. This leaves no room for heartbreak.

It's when one of you is in for something more serious and the other is into only fun that the problems start. So you should be absolutely clear about what you are looking for from the start, and you should make your intentions very clear to the other person.

At the same time you should have no doubts about the intentions of the other person as well. Remember, even if it is a casual relationship, there should be mutual understanding about the nature of the relationship.

Of course, there is always a possibility that a casual relationship can turn into something more serious. But, again in such cases it is your instincts that can help you identify what is good and what is bad.

No matter how strong a person is, anyone can be taken for a ride or be taken for granted. Being deceived or dumped is not a nice experience. So those of you who are going in for a casual relationship, be on your guard! Marriage is altogether a different story but we will deal with that later.

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